Gratitudinizing

I have been interested in positive psychology lately. Shawn Achor maintains that there are five simple things to do to improve one's happiness quotient, 1) Write three things you are grateful for every day, 2) Write and describe in detail one positive experience every day, 3) Meditation, 4) Do a random act of kindness, and 5) Exercise.

This is April 28, 2011. Today I am grateful for Shanone, who rode to Idaho with me to visit our mothers last weekend. We had such a wonderful time soaking at Lava Hot Springs, eating and talking. I am also grateful that she is on my team at work and that Sheila and Jessica, who are also on the team, are on the team. Also, I am glad that I am at two beautiful, new school, where I have very nice offices and bright surroundings.

Something good that happened today: Miss Obrey stopped me in the hall to give me a "hall referral" and I asked her to email me so I wouldn't forget. When I took her the Permission for Counselling, she said, "Thanks, you are awesome." Also when I told KP that we had a parent meeting set up for Monday for an at-risk student, he said, "Perfect." Made me feel good. I enjoy working for him.

Minutia

I had such a pleasant day today. When I got up I started writing a list of possible things to do. At the time of my first interruption, I had one thing on my list: Clean car. I accomplished this task at 4:30 p.m.

George bought an airplane today. An airplane with a history. A couple of months ago we read in the news that some guy had been killed when he wrecked his homemade airplane into someone's yard. Yes, that is the airplane George bought.

Go for the Gold!

No pun intended, but when I made the uneducated choice to go to Midas Creek Elementary, I struck gold. It is a beautiful, new school, with a wonderful, supportive principal (who told my supervisor that he couldn't say enough good things about me)(love that guy), and I have a big gorgeous office. But best off all, my team rocks! We are all from Idaho, three from the Blackfoot area and me. Sheila is the resource teacher and team leader. She is about my age, funny as hell, we even weigh the same! Best of all, she loves buying clothes! I can't believe my luck! We shop together and create outfits to show each other. The other day when we were lamenting our middle age middles, Sheila came up with the idea that whoever lost 8 pounds first could have something from the other's closet. We have been tormenting each other ever since, mentioning the most very expensive items in the other's wardrobe as possible rewards. This has had such a motivating effect on me. I have gained 3 pounds.

Story of My Career That I forgot I Wrote so Wrote it Again

My career started when my youngest child got on the bus to go to kindergarten. I pondered a few options: 1)Work at the Children's Center, a therapeutic preschool for children with behavioral issues. I gave them a call and yes, they had openings. For someone with a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, like me, the pay scale started at a whopping $5/hour, minimum wage at the time, and I think they really wanted me. But, I was insulted. What a useless degree! Why did I sweat blood for that degree? 2) Check groceries. I couldn't bring myself to even pursue it, although I really like the grocery checkers that I do business with. They are my good friends. Maybe it would actually be a good way to practice my well-honed psychological and social skills. 3) Teach school. Even though the thought of teaching school gave me a hard, tight lump in the pit of my stomach, I went down to the BYU Center in Salt Lake to see how long it would take me to get certified. Two more years. But the pay was great! Starting at $22,000/year, pittance even then, I would actually even get health insurance, something our family had never had. And the hours were good for someone with 7 children at home. I would do it I told myself, even though the words just augmented that nasty lump. On the way home, I was just driving around aimlessly when I happened upon the Jordan School District offices. My Suburban practically drove in the parking lot by itself. I looked nice in my red coat, and blonde, smartly cut hair. I asked the receptionist who I could speak to regarding the job market for teachers, and she directed me to speak to George Welch, who I found out later was an Assistant Superintendent. Why she didn't just send me down to Personnel, is part of the miracle of this story. He talked to me for quite awhile and asked me about my background. When he found out I had a useless psychology degree, he got a little more animated because he said there was a dearth of School Psychologists. I remember in my younger years, leafing through college catalogs, coming upon the School Psychology Department and having a visceral reaction because, if I were smart enough, which I wasn't, that would have been my dream job. He sent me down to Fulvia's office (Guidance Program Specialist). Next miracle: she wasn't busy. She gave me an excited pep talk about going to graduate school, having a job waiting for me at the top of the pay scale, and told me I was yet a pup. I was 43. As I walked out of her office I told her I would be back in two years to apply for a job. I was so stoked! That day provided me with enough psychic energy to take two GRE prep classes, take the GRE, apply to the University of Utah and BYU, attend an intense School Psychology program for two years, and do an internship. And yes, there was a job waiting for me at the end of it all, at the top of the pay scale, with benefits. My life was changed forever, in almost every way.

Creative answers to IQ test prompts

Me to six year old developmentally delayed Gavin: Gavin, what is a cow? Gavin: A cow is a bovine.

Me, explaining how to do a maze to five-year-old Michael: Now Michael, see this little squirrel? Put your pencil on the squirrel and take him to this tree over here. (Michael enjoys taking his squirrel all over the page, everywhere but the tree) Me: OK, very nice Michael. Let's try again. This time take your squirrel over here to this nice tree. (Michael proceeds to take his squirrel on a long and squiggly journey around the page) Me: (very firmly, but nicely) OK, now this squirrel has been all over the page. This time, I need you to take your (blankety-blank, just kidding) squirrel over here to the tree. Michael: My squirrel doesn't like trees.

Me: Trevor, I am going to say some numbers to you and I would like you to say them back to me backwards. Let's try one. "Two, four." Trevor: Rof, oot.

Me: Brooke, what does transparent mean? Brooke: That is your foster parent.

Me: What does migrate mean? Child: It's a bad headache.

The "What If Everybody Did" Therapy

I am a school psychologist in an elementary school. Recently I found a great bibliotherapy book for my little clients. It's called "What if Everybody Did?" by JoAnn Stover. On one page it shows a person tracking mud into the house and on the next page it shows the house if everyone tracked mud into it. Get the point? I thought I would try to make the point that we probably shouldn't be doing things, that if everyone did them, it would be a disaster. So we are making a "What if Everybody Did it at School" book, written and illustrated by five second and third grade boys with behavior disorders. Spencer fell right into the swing of things. He drew a picture of one kid pushing another on one page and on the next, mayhem. Brennan drew a picture of a boy bringing his dog to school on one page, and everyone bringing their dog on the next. The playground has fresh and warm looking brown piles all over it. Hey! Hold on! What is Ian drawing? He has a picture of aliens all over the playground. I asked him if Aliens are real and if everyone in the school even has an alien. He said no, they are pretend and no one really has one. I encouraged him to remain within the realm of reality. It wasn't easy for him.
With encouragement, he settled on drawing a picture of one boy throwing food and then a picture of everyone throwing food. Perfectly acceptable, within the limits of reality and actually even in line with the point I was trying to put across, that everyone throwing food would make it impossible to function in the classroom. Not too far into the process, however, it became evident that Ian was not shocked and dismayed, but delighted by the prospect of not one, but EVERYONE in the the school, pushing each other, bringing their dog, bringing their favorite alien and throwing food. The enthusiasm he displayed in completing his illustrations and the excitement on his face was deflating as I realized that the project had backfired and Ian actually thought that the school would be be a better place in all of these conditions. Back to square one.

Counterpoint

I love to spend time with Mercedes so when she invited me to the annual Counterpoint Conference, I jumped on it. I had read about Lavina Fielding Anderson, Margaret Toscano and Janice Allred, all of whom were excommunicated for publishing research on Church History. Meeting them in person was heartwarming, awe inspiring, and tragic. You would think that someone who has been excommunicated from the Church would be different in some way. They were different. They were more lovely, articulate, intelligent, empathic, accepting and peaceful than most members of the Church. Not only that but they have continued to go to Church every week, participate in the Church activities that they are allowed to, and and to maintain a testimony of the Church that discarded them. They refused to let Church Priesthood leaders destroy their Mormon identities.

There was a panel in the morning entitled "Why I Left, Why I stayed." Two of the women left because they didn't get anything out of the meetings, they felt like Joseph Smith was not a prophet, they felt ostracized even in activity, they felt they weren't allowed to express their feelings freely.

Two stayed because they love the community of their ward, they need a spiritual venue, they felt it would be too disruptive to their families to leave, and just because they feel Mormon.

I thought it was telling that the ones who left were single, the ones who stayed are married.

Lisa Butterworth, an exuberant young mother, who started the Feminist Mormon Housewives blog, spoke of the fourth wave of feminism, which would target young mothers. Those mothers need liberated and I have faith that with the help of internet free dialogue and information, that wave will come sooner and easier than the previous three movements.

The free expression of true feelings was exhilarating. I felt blessed to be there with Mercedes.