Reconnecting With Daniel

What was I getting at Home Depot? I don't remember. But something memorable happened there yesterday. Again. I was in line waiting to purchase my forgettable items. At the next cashier I saw some people I knew. It was Daniel and his crazy mom. Conveniently I have forgotten their last name. It didn't surprise me that they were having some credit card trouble. When one didn't work, she would produce another one out of her wallet until one finally went through.

Let me preface this chance meeting with Daniel's story. He was a little chubby third grader at the elementary school where I worked about five years ago. He has an IQ of about 78 or 80, so was performing at that level in all areas. He was having a terrible time academically, socially, and had no coping skills. He felt stupid and unloved. And when he was frustrated, he got angry and when he got angry, he hurt people. Peers and teacher. He was an angry person! He was in my office more times than I can count crying and cooling down.

I can still hear him saying the affirmation that I teach all my kids:

I am somebody. In all the world there is no one else like me (only Daniel said something like "In all the world, I am like no other") I can do things. I can solve problems. I can change things. I am becoming the person I want to be. I am somebody.

Daniel had learning issues but he had the affirmation memorized.

He was one of the most depressed kids I have ever worked with. And for good reason. His parents were both dysfunctional, explosive, abusive, with Dad in and out of the home, with and without restraining orders. Big sisters had drug and truancy issues. One was severely retarded. Mom came into the school more than once stoned out of her mind. Daniel came to school about 10:00 every day because no one woke him up, gave him some Cheerios and sent him on his way. He was on his own.

His mother had these little dogs that she fawned over. One day she asked Daniel to give them a bath in the bathtub. Of course, they tried to escape, and while trying to contain them, one drowned. Mother was inconsolable. Daniel asked her, "Mom, do you wish it was me that drowned?" I called Family Services.

Daniel was every bully's victim. One day when he was in the sixth grade, he had an altercation with a student. He lived across the street from the school, so he walked home at lunch time, climbed up on the roof of his house and threatened to jump off. His sister called his mom and she came home and talked him down. He was hospitalized for a time after that.

So, yes, I saw them at Home Depot yesterday. I didn't say anything to them because I didn't want her to be embarrassed because of her credit card difficulties, so I just left. The parking lot was a parking lot, meaning it was gridlocked, but I knew if I drove up by the store I would have a chance to see them when they walked out. Sure enough, by the time I got up front, they were loading their compost into the car and I stopped to talk to them. Daniel came right over smiling. He was tall, handsome, self assured and well mannered. I asked how he was doing and he nodded and said he was "doing good." I told him I was so glad to see him and so glad he was happy. As they were getting into their car, his mom turned back and said, "He misses you." He probably never talks about me, but that was nice of her to say.