A Profusion of Confusion

Today in Church the teacher was talking about the Spirit and how we need to live worthy to keep the Spirit with us in order to receive personal revelation. This goes against my personal revelation experience. Twenty one years ago I thought about going to work. The Prophet of the LDS Church at that time was vocal about mother's staying at home to care for children. I had seven children to take care of, so, of course, I had some internal conflict about doing this. So I thought I would just snoop around a bit. I looked into some jobs......$5.00 an hour jobs. Not for me. I was never going to feel good about taking a $5.00 an hour job. So I sauntered down to BYU Salt Lake and found out that it would take me two years to get a teaching certificate, even though I already had a Bachelor's Degree. That was pretty depressing. On the way home I was driving past Jordan School District offices and impulsively turned into the parking lot. When I told the receptionist that I was considering being a teacher, voila! she took me to the office of the Assistant Superintendent! How did that happen? He talked to me for a few minutes and when he asked me what my undergrad was in, and I told him Psychology, he escorted me down to Fulvia Nicholsen's office. She is still the Program Specialist for Guidance Programs only now her last name is different. She talked to me for a long time and encouraged me to apply to the program even though I was 43 years old. "You're just a pup!" Now she calls me an old goat. When she said that as a School Psychologist I would start out on the top end of the pay scale instead of the bottom, as a teacher, and that it would take me the same amount of time to Certify, I was sold! When I walked out of her office, I told her I would be back in two years to apply for a job. Well, that was a bit over-confident since I hadn't even applied for Graduate School. But I had the strangest rush of energy as I walked out of the building. That energy stayed with me for three years. At that time I had a nervous breakdown.

My point is, that I was seeking direction on a path that was against what the Prophet was expounding. I feel like I received not only spiritual confirmation of my decision but enough spiritual support to carry me through the admission process, the two years of Graduate School, and an Internship. Go figure.